Weary working mamas of the world unite. We have nothing to lose but our mommy wars.
Ok, so I might have stolen that line from a rather controversial writing, but I feel it fits our current cultural issues in motherhood. For instance, when I say "working mamas," I mean ALL mamas. Work-at home mamas, part-time working mamas, single mamas, work-outside-the-home mamas. Because, let's face it, whether you're a career mother or a mother with an additional career, we all work, we're all sometimes weary, and we're all trying to balance hectic lives, expensive bills, and contradictory parenting advice. In our insecurities, we tend to belittle those who have made a different choice than our own because our culture is so extreme. We ridicule stay-at-home moms for "wasting" their education and career moms for choosing work over family. All you have to do is piddle around on Pinterest to stumble on evidence of the mommy wars. (Images above are a case in point!)
The mommy wars these days are becoming more and more frenzied. Cry-it out? Co-sleeping? Potty-train at age 2 or age 3? Gender neutral colors or cave to our gendered world? Princess battles? Is your little boy "all-boy" enough? You let your child eat goldfish? You only feed your child fish-sticks and peanut-butter? How do you have time to make your own hand-sanitizer? You haven't lost your baby-weight yet? Moms, put on that swimsuit and get in the picture! You only read 3 books a day to your child? You're pushing your child too quickly to learn spanish! Recently a weary mama wrote a hilarious parody of conflicting sleep advice over at Huff Post Parenting.
The point is, being a mother is hard, whether you stay at home or work elsewhere. Being a healthy mom is even harder. I just cannot get my daughter to eat many vegetables. All she wants is processed food, and I mean, can I blame her? What little, developing taste-buds wouldn't want Pop-Tarts over broccoli? So I'm trying to learn feasible, reasonable methods of making healthier choices for my family and for myself.
That's why I'm writing this blog. As I've recently quit my teaching job and started a new career (which inquiring minds can read about under "About Me"), I'm realizing how constantly stressed and anxious I was in my former life. My challenge was mommy guilt over missing time with my child, work-guilt from pushing back grading, personal guilt from neglecting exercise and health, and marriage guilt from having so little energy remaining for my husband. Let me tell you, that was a lot of guilt. While the grass may seem greener staying home, and I'm thrilled with my choice, I still face challenges: sometimes I miss "head work" and adult conversations. I often fear my daughter is bored with me. I still don't have time for much laundry and house work because I am, in fact, (and contrary to my old judgement of stay-at-home moms) busy all day wrangling my toddler. I still struggle to make healthy choices for myself and my family each day, whether those choices involve food, finances, personal products, relationships, or time on social media.
With a fresh perspective, I now realize that all mamas are busy, working mamas, whether they work from home in network marketing like me, have professions outside the home, or work to raise three kids, keep the house clean, stay in budget, and somehow find time for personal development and exercise. The genesis of this blog is finding more balance in my life, and while I'm researching, I figured I'd write about it.
So, working mamas of the world, let's unite. Looking forward to learning alongside of you.
Have you worn the same thing three days in a row? Not showered yet today? Are yoga pants your go-to ensemble?
I hear ya. One of the perks of working outside the home was getting ready and dressed each day, so I felt more confident and attractive. Yes, I realize that's shallow and worldly. Blah blah. The truth is, part of being a great mom, and a confident woman, is feeling attractive and confident in our own skin. To my mind, that doesn't mean looking model-thin, dressing in all the latest styles, or being perfectly coiffed on a daily basis. What it does mean, though, is feeling fit, healthy, and tailored.
So, one of my new goals as a work-from-home mom is to exercise more (which I never had time for previously!), to eat regular, healthy meals with no snacking, and to feel put-together most days. I'm not the most stylish mama, but I do try to keep up with some trends. Like, I finally bought a pair of skinny jeans in May. For 30% off. Awesome.
But shopping is tough with kids in tow. Earlier today, I went shopping with my toddler, C, and the next thing I knew she was running through the store window display at Gap yelling "Open door!" and "Hello!" to all of the passers-by in the mall. Hilarious, yet not all that conducive for savvy shopping.
Enter Stitch Fix, the fashion genius for busy moms, professionals, or whomever.
I have received three boxes from Stitch Fix, and although I was disappointed with my first box's contents, the next two did not disappoint. Firstly, their customer service is AWESOME. My first box was not really my style, and the sizes were off, so I wrote an email complaining about paying the $20 styling fee required for each box since it was my first go at the service. I received an immediate response waving the $20 fee and offering to send me another box. My second and third boxes were much more to my taste, and I kept two shirts from the box. I would've gladly chosen more items except for budgetary considerations! The beauty of BOTH of my Stitch Fix shirts is that they were FREE.
Each of these shirts is from Stitch Fix. The jeans, shoes, and accessories are my own. Why am I awkwardly laughing in one picture? Because I'm a mom, posing for a picture, to post on the internet. Ridiculous. BUT, it might just earn me some more free Stitch Fix so TOTES WORTH IT. Once you sign up for the service, you can share your personalized link about Stitch Fix, and then whenever anyone signs up and receives their first box, you receive a $25 credit.
Here are the pro's of this service:
- Ships to your door, and you decide how often you want your "fix."
- Forces you to take time to decide what your style is. The sign-up page prompts you with images of various styles (Romantic, Preppy, Classic, etc) and then encourages you to make a Pinterest board for your stylist to view.
- You can tailor the cost of items in your box, and you receive 25% off the entire box if you keep all contents.
- The boxes get better the more you participate in the service. My third box was rocking.
- Free shipping and free returns. Just drop it in your mailbox to return garments, check out online with your purchases, and Voila.
Here are the con's of this service.
- Each box costs $20 for a styling fee. I mean, they have to make money somehow! But, if you choose an item, the $20 fee applies to that item. However, it might take 2-3 boxes for the stylist to understand your style and size.
So, if you're interested in Stitch Fix, please click on my link to give me some credit! And then, share your own link to build some Stitch Fix moola of your own. Click here to sign up. Thanks in advance for helping me to look less mommyish and more stylish. Because, let's be honest, we might want to spend money on cute clothes for our kids from Boden and Tea Collection, but the little ones don't really care. We, however, gain confidence in spades when we feel cute in a new top. So treat yourself every now and then. Happy Stitch Fixing!
